Shadows of My Past
by Nyxie Is A Gamer Nerd
Summary: Here, have another warriors fanfiction Without cannon Characters present. This is generations after all cannon cats died and faded, only details that changed is that Skyclan never got chased, Bloodclan was reformed and considered one of the clans The summary is in the first paragraph the Prologue, love it or hate it doesn't phase me. Thanks for checking it out though. M for mature
1. Prologue

_**"They say...Every good story must have had some tragedy tied to it. After all...how could something be good unless they've experienced it's counterpart? Well young ones, I have a story for you. One full of death...full of blood ...and full of hate, there was no happiness in this story. From start to finish, i'll tell you about a cat who lived by what they thought was right, how they thought they could have it all but ended with what they didn't realize they needed. Let me tell you...about Sharpscreech of Skyclan."**_

 ** _"Like any story...let's start at the beginning."_**

* * *

"Push Scarlet! You only have one more to go." A soft, female voice cut above the screams that filled the air, the pain was unlike anything that the apparent Scarlet had felt before. It was like she was being ripped in two. As wave after wave of pain hit her, Scarlet felt herself weakening. _No! I have to make it! For my kits!_ She tried to tell herself, but it didn't help with every moment she could feel herself getting weaker and weaker. In what strength she had left she managed to move her head to look at her first born, a tom.

"S-Stag... His n-name is…Stag." She choked out as another scream left her, leaving her throat raw and sore and soon the second kit was born. With watery eyes she tried to look but she heard the words that haunted her.

 _Stillborn._

"No…."She rasped out with a sob, not even having the energy to cry as the pain flared up again. She couldn't pay attention to the physical pain...When the pain her heart felt made it as if she was being torn apart on the inside too. As her time grew short, she felt relief for the final time. As her last kit had been pushed out and she nearly cried hearing that it was alive….A healthy she-kit. She opened her mouth to speak but ended up gritting her teeth in pain as she could feel her time approaching.

 _I'll be with them...my sweet… I'm so sorry, please forgive me_

Even she knew, if that kit had been born alive she would still die. Her last kit had caused her to hemorrhage and she was dying from blood loss. She looked directly at her she-kit and gasped. Flashes passed her vision and she sputtered. "D-death...Blood…..Hate!" She managed to cry out. The healer stopped and looked at the mother, her heart racing.

 _W-was that an omen? I-I need to tell Clare!_ She looked over at the curious apprentice who offered to help, she winced at the look of horror that crossed his face.

"Now isn't the time for gawking Dragon! Go get Clare!" She ordered and the tom looked up, fear in his eyes. "R-right Song." He stammered with a shaky nod and bolted off. Shouting for Clare. The she-cat Song looked back, ears flattening as she began to frantically trying to stop the bleeding but it was no use. She was forced to watch Scarlet's eyes fade as she stared at her she-kit in both fear and sadness.

"I'm s-so sorry….B-Bailey.." The mother whispered softly to her she-kit, confusing Song yet the healer bowed her head sadly for the queen. Hearing her take her final breath.

 _Death, blood and hate….What does this mean Starclan?_

* * *

"Wait, hold up miss! I thought you were telling us about a Skyclan cat?" A confused tom kit piped up, making the starry furred she-cat blink at being interrupted.

Another little kit perked up as well, "yeah, why are you telling us about the ripper cat?" She shivered and the older cat chuckled at the kits, smirking as she looked at them both.

"I know what I said Tigerkit, Havenkit, now hush and listen."


	2. Idiots

They whispered about me...

I ignored them, that's all they said. It was repetitive and annoying, I glance out of the nursery, I was constantly kept here. They called it 'the safety of others', I scoffed and narrowed my eyes. It was a load if fox dung is what it was, what in Starclan did they I would do? Sighing, I ush those thoughts out of my mind and continued looking.

Soon I see who it was I was looking for, my brother Stag, with his cockiness was boasting about something to the other kits and apprentice. "Idiots. " I mumble under my breath, only to wince when I felt something hit me over the head. I glared up at the Foster queen who decided it was time to be her fox-hearted self. The queen had taken herself and Stag in when their own mother died. _Tragic_ I thought to myself sarcastically.

"Don't be rude Bailey, you won't eat if you keep up that attitude. " The Silver tabby sneered at me, this used to hurt. Especially thinking she was my mother, but after understanding the truth I found myself caring less and less. I mean, not that it mattered to me, my _real_ mother condemned me so it didn't make any difference really.

"I'd say sorry Serenity, but we both know I would be lying and regardless of it I won't eat. " I rolled my amber eyes, something I'd inherited from my real mother and went back to staring at my brother, once Serenity had an idea in mind... It didn't matter if I behaved or not. _Maybe she and the clan hoped I'd starve to death or something._

I can tell you right now I won't be eating tonight.

"Honestly, you should be thankful at all we didn't kill you when you were born. It would be a fitting end aft-" I blocked out her irritating voice after that. Ignoring as she ranted the same thing everyone did. _I should be dead, I killed my mother. I will bring destruction to this clan. It was still the same as ever, bunch of Starclan forsaken mouse brains. I'm a_ _ **Kit.**_

Feeling enough, I stood while she still ranted on. Not noticing as I padded out of the den, _after all I couldn't find my collar cooped up in the nursery could I?_ I was nearly five and a half moons and the possibility of becoming an apprentice excited me. It was the only thing I looked forward to these days, despite the fact it will mean little if no one mentored me.

The clan was afraid of me. _Idiots_.

I was a kit, _I don't know what they expect me to do, annoy them to death?_ Shaking my head I kept watch, I was almost glad everyone ignored me as it made my escape out of the main alley easy. None even spared me glance, I guess it was more sad then anything but I gave up caring about that awhile back.

Was it so much to ask to live my life as a normal Bloodclan cat? Apparently so as I lost all chance at that the moment I was born, however. I hated my mother for speaking those words, the words that haunt my life and ruined any chance of my happiness.

Lost in my thoughts I didn't even realize until I felt wetness under my paw. Moving it I watched the puddle still and showed my reflection, black fur with small white dots everywhere. "Hardly believe they are my parents. " I muttered.

It was true, I look nothing like my dad. I only share his black fur and from what I've heard I share nothing but my eyes with my mother. With a sigh, I glanced around the new alley I wandered into. Normally the parents take the kit to get their collar, Stag already had his and I was jealous. It was a beautiful blue collar with a strange design, I fell in love with it and he knew it. He flaunted it purposely in front of me and it led to a lot of fights where I sent him running to daddy.

Another reason I was confined in the nursery was because I often got into fights with the kits and some of the younger apprentices. At the memory I look down at my paws, slowly unsheathing my claws and I sighed. They were long and just another reason I was feared, I won the fights and rarely had injuries if my own. I know under any other circumstances that my dad would be proud, I was a natural born fighter like him after all.

But no, he sees me as nothing more then the monster who killed his mate

Stag sees me as nothing but the one who killed his mother.

Feel the theme emerging?

Soon, however, I spotted something from the corner of my eye, it was hanging from the top of one of the silver trash cans the twolegs had. My first thoughts that is was too dark, and I went to turn when I caught a glimpse of soft pink. Pausing again, I decided to pad over to it and realised it was a collar, grimacing, I grabbed it with my mouth and pulled.

Fighting the urge to spit it out as it tasted like crowfood, and when it was free I was quick to throw it into the puddle. Going back I spent a while cleaning it, gritting my teeth and even almost giving up a few times before I looked down at it in surprise.

It... Was beautiful, it was more then the soft pink I saw, it faded to a light green in design and it shimmered gently "It's perfect. " I whispered to myself, it was such a pretty colour. Sure it would be a pain to get blood out but she knew it was worth it.

"It's disgusting more like it. What you do, get it out of the trash? " The snicker made me still, refusing to turn around and face my brother.

"She literally got it out of the trash. I can smell it from here." Another voice piped up, I recognised at as Whaler, one of my brother's stupid idiotic friends. Hoping they would go away I continued to not pay them any mind but, of course that wouldn't work. _When would anything ever go right for me?_ She thought sarcastically.

"Look like she's ignoring you Stag, thinks she's too good for us. " The voice of my brother's best friend Lex sneered. He never went without his two friends Whaler and Lex, who also were brothers and I'm staring to think that Stag didn't exist without them. The brothers followed my brother everywhere like he was a damn gift from Starclan.

"I know I'm too good for you, just leave me alone and no one gets hurt. " I said in a calm voice, struggling a little to hold back the urge to attack them. I might be a good fighter but even I know when the odds are stacked against me. I mean...what kit could win a fight against three cats?

It seemed they had the same idea as I tensed hearing them burst out in laughter. "Haha Bailey! That's adorable! I can always trust you to make a fool of yourself for my amusement. " I could practically feel his glaring smirk and with a sigh I finally turned around to look at them. My eyes glaring at him, burning into his face. I felt a slight satisfaction as he flinched ever so slightly, barely noticeable but he knew that I saw.

Whaler, he is a handsome dark grey tom with black and white speckled and markings and soft green eyes. Not that I would ever admit i had a crush on him for a short time, any feelings left the instant he joined my brother's side. His brother Lex is a simple white tom with black paws and splash on his back and very dark green eyes. If I thought I looked different to my family then these brothers looked barely related. Ignoring them I turned to the problem at foot.

I could easily see why father didn't like Stag either, all I ever heard was how much he looked like our mother, with his dark russet fur and white markings. Which made Stag hate me even more, he seems to have it in his head that our dad abandoned him because of me. _Idiot._

"Listen crowfood, you're going to hand over that collar so I can tear it apart or we'll take it by force. " He decided, satisfied as his friends snickered and tense for leap at the given signal.

Immediately I stood in front if the collar, _how dare they say that? This is mine! I found it! I cleaned it and I was not just going to hand it over!_ Just as I started growling, before I had the chance to attack; another collar was thrown at me, it was a horrible shade of yellow with weird grey stains.

"Filth like you should wear a collar to match. Get her. " Stag demanded and I barely had time to react, still taken off guard as Lex had rushed at me while I wasn't paying attention. He barrelled into me before I realised what was even happening, grunting as I was forced onto the ground. I unsheathed my claws and was about to fight back when Whaler jumped onto me. There was nothing I could do, I had no training and they forced my head up to watch.

Stag arrogantly padded in front of me and bent down to grasp the collar I found, I struggled in a panic to get out of the brothers grasp but they were a moon older and apprentices. I hated to admit it but I was on the weaker end and I was forced to watch as Stag used his claws and began to viciously tear into it.

"Please! Stop it! You c-can't do this! It's mine!" I actually started sobbing and showed how much I actually care. It was a mistake, never had I felt so strongly about something. My eyes tearing up as I struggled even more but I just felt Whaler press my face harshly into the ground, I never really cared about meaningless things but watching him do this to something I worked hard on... It broke me a bit. _Brothers are meant to protect their little sister aren't they? I thought they didn't make them cry... I knew he hated me but..._

"S-Stag please don't! " I begged but Stag only gave me a sick grin as he finally ripped it in two. I stared at the once pretty collar numbly.

I was unresponsive and stayed laying there, barely hearing my brother talk as I felt them roughly shove the ugly stained collar on. It was tight but they didn't care and I vaguely heard them laughing as they left.

Just when I thought things couldn't get worse... When I thought I've experienced all the cruelty they had to give.

I felt cold, ignoring the first drops of rain to the eventual downpour.

I didn't care or move from my spot, I didn't see the point. If this was all life had to offer for me maybe it was best if I never went back, my tears mixed with the rain and I was glad for it. I didn't want them to know they got to me, I refused to give them that satisfaction. Curling up by the remains if the collar, I closed my eyes.

Falling asleep to the crushing rain around me.

* * *

 _"That's so mean!" Havenkit exclaimed, looking so invested in the story and despite her feelings felt icky over how Bailey was treated. "Miss why were they so mean to her? Bailey didn't do anything wrong." She flattened her ears._

 _Tigerkit nodded along frantically, "Yeah! It's not Bailey's fault." He said firmly and the older cat smirked at them, quite obviously amused by their reactions. She even chuckled as they defended Bailey and they looked at her confused._

 _"I know it wasn't Bailey's fault, but it happens quite often when the clans misinterpret a Starclan sign. This was one of those times." She said solemnly and the two kits looked at each other before looking back at her._

 _Tigerkit was the one to speak, "And what does that mean for Bailey?" He seemed hesitant and flattened his ears as the warrior only gave him a sad smile._

 _The two kits sat silently, waiting for the next part of the story._


	3. Same Day, Old News

"...ound her! ...ver here! " I could vaguely hear calling, I could barely hear at all as my mind was still under the abyss, hiding from the raw pain that I went through earlier. I do know it was still raining heavily but I long lost feeling to it. The only proof was the almost deafening sounds that surrounding me and consumed.

Slowly, however, I opened my eyes and glanced around, I hissed a little as rain pelted against me and constantly splashed in my eyes. Being conscious had bought back feeling to the world around me. Forcing them to squint. I watched silhouettes fill my vision and soon realised the patrol that found me had the second, Craven, leading it and I couldn't help but perk up a bit seeing him.

He was one of the rare cats that actually liked me, I wasn't quite sure why and I always hoped he'd be my mentor. However, I know our leader Revy wouldn't ever allow it. He wouldn't allow a monster like me to be trained by such a high warrior, the second at that. It just wouldn't ever happen.

He was such a young cat, the youngest to be appointed Second since Bloodclan was reformed... Well, more like since Firestar's time, as he was only 27 moons. He was a simple brown tabby with blue eyes and a dark maroon collar with many teeth. I often saw she-cats fawn over him and although I suppose he was alright, I never really looked further into that kind of thing. Though I always had nagging feeling whenever we were near each other, what it was? I didn't know, I was only a kit and I decided it didn't concern me and I was selfishly eating up the care he gave me.

"Bailey what happened? Let's get you back to camp. " Craven's voice sounded worried as they got closer and I could feel the disgusted fear coming from the patrol behind him, looking at them I felt many raw emotions, having trouble hiding it since I was still sensitive about what happened with my brother and even Craven wasn't blind to it.

He turned around to face them and glared, baring his teeth in challenge. "Go and tell the other we found her! And stay out of my sight!" He snarled and they were all too happy to run off and leave, Craven rolled eyes before he turned to me and those glaring eyes softened. Something only I ever saw. I was content just sitting there as he soon at beside me in the rain silent...Soon the rain started to let up and he was able to see the mangled collar I had tried so desperately tried to protect.

"What happened Bailey? " he asked suddenly, catching me off guard but I told him, my voice stayed quiet and low as I explained to him and I watched different emotions flash by. Anger was the one I recognised the most, I'd seen it so often whenever I see my reflection... When I was done he said nothing at first, I was confused and a bit upset until to felt something tugging harshly at the ugly collar still around me.

I gasped for breath as it choked me, struggling against it and desperately trying to breath but the pressure was relieved as soon as the pressure appeared by the sound of something snapping, I whipped around to Craven and looked at him in shock to see the collar dangling from his jaws snapped in two. He spat it out like it tasted at crowfood, which it smelled like by the way "I'll take you to get your proper collar tomorrow. " He said, his voice rough and highly irritated but I knew this wasn't directed at me, Craven always acted like the father I wish I had but Starclan was cruel to me.

"Thanks Craven. " I said fondly, looking up to him as he looked towards camp. I could see he was still angry and I had oddly happy feelings seeing him care so much. It wasn't much longer before the rain had long gone but the clouds remained. I looked down at the puddle and looked mournfully at the collar, despite everything and knowing I would get a new one I still couldn't help but feel down, _how could he do that to me? Does he really hate me that much?_ If I had any doubt before it was gone now. My family isn't my family...

My attention was back at the tom as he nudged me. "I actually have news, I was meant to keep it secret but I can tell you need some sort of happiness. " he started and I tilt my head. _What could he possibly tell me that wouldn't make me miserable?_ "I've discussed it with Revy, and after some tense words it's been decided I will be your mentor when you become an apprentice. " he casually said, giving me a small smile and I still.

My heart pounded against my chest, _that definitely won't make me miserable...was this a prank?_ Was something good actually going go happen in my life? From his expression it was easy to see he wasn't lying and he enjoyed my shock, after all this time... Something went right for me. I promise myself right here and now... _Words won't bother me, I won't let Stag and his shadows get to me._ _All I have to do is focus on the positives and things will come through._

With shaky legs, I stood and leaned into Craven. Purring gently against the only tom I'd ever consider a father. "Thank you. " I said softly, pressing my head against his shoulder in both comfort and to show my thanks. It was so surreal, I didn't even care that he was the second all I cared about was someone actually _wanting_ me. It was a nice feeling.

"You don't need to thank me, just continue being the fighter you always have been and everything will be fine." He's words both soothed and confused me, but I dismissed it again. Not realising the gleam in his comforting eyes and the grin over his face as I just wanted to stay close. If he wanted me to be a fighter then that's what i'll be, it's only natural for a Bloodclan cat.

Soon, however, it was time to go back and I have never felt more tired then right now. Who knew emotional roller coasters made you exhausted? Craven noticed and picked me up by my scruff, carrying me back. Despite all the looks I received when we entered the main alley I refused to look submissive and met many of the states with a glare of my own. Pushing away my tiredness and feeling smug when many turned away, unable to meet my eyes.

 _Idiots. Scared of a kit._

However, even this new attitude didn't stop me from wincing as Serenity came storming from our den with a look of fury. _Just when I thought I had enough today the world keeps trying to keep me down..._ "Bailey! _Where_ in Starclan's name have you been?! Not only did you leave the den but you left camp to attack your brother! " she snarled and that last part had me confused.

 _I didn't attack my brother, if anything they all held **me** down..._ Glancing around I saw Stag with a smug smirk, he had a couple of fresh new claw marks on him and from looking at his grinning friends behind him it was easy to see they planned this. That made anger course through me at that, _what a load of mouse dung!_

"Calm down Serenity, I know Bailey didn't do this. " Craven told her calmly, defending me but the queen simply scoffed at the second causing me to drop my jaw at the clear disrespect. It was one of the things that was really not tolerated here and I couldn't believe my foster mother did just that.

"Oh please, spare me. Just because you are Revy's kit doesn't mean we all respect you, you need to earn it." She said irritably before snatching me away from him roughly causing me to yelp as I felt her break the skin of my scruff, she didn't care that she was holding me like a piece of fresh kill and I could feel the blood drip down from my scruff. I was whimpering softly in her grip and didn't even try to move.

She turned away from the stunned Craven, even though I wasn't facing him I could feel both shame and anger radiating from him but I wasn't able to do anything as I was forced to go with Serenity. She placed me down roughly on the ground on my supposed 'nest', well my nest which only consisted of a thin blanket and was barely enough to keep warm during the cold nights. It was times like this I was glad to be born in New-leaf as the nights weren't as cold. Serenity and Stag, however, had much more comfortable bedding which left me bitter but I never fought the matter.

It could be worse after all.

"If you think after that stunt Revy will make you an apprentice you're dreaming! Why I ought to go speak-" Serenity ranted her face off and instead of listening I do what I always do...

I blocked out the sound. Eyes blank and ignore the world around me.

I curl up in my nest, resting my head gently and close my eyes. Her words a faint echo in my mind as I welcomed the dark abyss I escape to...It felt like I was always so close to happiness, but it was always one step forward and several steps back. Always out of reach and always so close. It was a cruel joke.

I was nearly asleep, the darkness beckoning me when I heard a cry of pain. Confused, I open my eyes was a bit in shock at what I saw. Craven had Serenity pinned to the ground firmly with her face squished into the ground, his long claw extensions pressing into her back as he kept one paw on her head. The scent of blood, however, grabbed my attention and I focus my gaze on the blood as it stained her pretty silver fur. As I stared at it, mixed feelings rose inside me but none of them were negative and that just made me more curious.

"Don't you ever mock me or my position again! " He snarled, my attention was dragged away from the blood to look at him, it was clear he was angry no...He was furious and it was a side I had never seen from him. Whenever I saw him he was always so kind and to see him get so angry startled me at first. But as I thought about it I realise that he was only ever kind when I was around. He must really care about me.. I thought, a warm feeling welling up at the idea.

"And don't even think about threatening Bailey again or I'll rip you apart. " He growled, voice dark before continuing "In fact... From now on she's under my personal care and will live with me. " he said firmly, shoving her harder into the ground and she whimpered in pain. But somehow still manged to hold her fiery glare.

"F-fine! Take the forsaken monster! " She managed to spit out and was immediately hit on the head harshly by Craven, knocking her unconscious and leaving claw marks where his unsheathed claws hit. He remained standing over her and letting soft grows out as he breathed heavily. I sat there dumbfounded, I mean I know he cares about me but no-one, not even him had stood up for me like that before and I was in slight shock. Enough shock that I didn't realise the blood from Serenity had gotten onto my paws.

There was several moments of silence from both of us until he finally turned to me, a small smirk that seemed out of place given the situation. Almost like he finally broke free from something holding him back and instead of being scared I couldn't help but give him a small smile back. "Come on Bailey, let's go make your nest." He said, voice oddly calm for what just happened and I simply nod.

"Okay Craven.'

Standing up, I kept my head high as I followed him from the den. I spotted Western, he doesn't deserve the title of my Father I thought with a dark glare in his direction before looking around the small crowd that gathered, they probably heard Serenity's cries and I could easily see both anger and fear in their eyes.

 _Now that's nothing new._

* * *

 _ **"Awe I'm so happy Bailey had someone that cared about her." Havenkit purred, kneading her paws into the ground and even Tigerkit smiled happily. "Yeah! It's about time stood up to mean old Serenity." He said and the old she-cat only shook her head.**_

 _ **Confusing the two kits before her at the action, "What's the matter miss? Isn't it a good thing?" Havenkit asked and she shrugged her shoulders.**_

 _ **"Everything can be considered two sides of the same thing...What could be considered a good thing...Could also be considered something terrible. It's all about which side you see." She said cryptically and the kits traded frowns, unsure how to take this information.  
**_

 _ **Tigerkit tilted his head and gave her the frown, "So it's actually a..bad thing that Craven looks after Bailey?" He tried and she simply chuckled in a bittersweet way.**_

 _ **"Now...I didn't say quite that."  
**_

 _ **That left the two kits even more confused and they waited impatiently for more of the story.**_


End file.
